I am so outraged i can’t believe this i’ve been working for this company for about 7 months now. I haven’t gotten a raise, i obviously work my ass off nothing less than 30 hours a week, no social life and i find out i am a part time worker, so i don’t get any benefits? not only that but i don’t get a raise! until i’ve been there for a year because i’m not “full time”
How in the hell am i going to get paid less than a cashier that is about to start, no way i will not stay quiet about this. The cashier i trained today is going to get paid $ 8.00 and hour and my friend whom i just helped score a job there is going to get $7.91. What the fuck! i make $7.73.
Ugh time to look for a new job or ask my other boss if theres the possibility to be hired “full time” with them, as in work enough parties to earn at least 250.00 a week.
I’m such an idiot! My lifeguard certification is going to expire this year and i never applied for a job... I’m depressed now.
xoxo Julieth
Friday, March 25, 2011
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
No Balls
This will probably be the shortest blog ill ever post.
I’m exhausted i worked 330 to 1115 and i gotta be back for a 7 to 330 shift tomorrow, my boss is really fucking with my sleeping patterns! how am i supposed to be all happy if i’m running on 7 maybe 6 hours of sleep.
I havent grown the balls to talk to my friend and i feel awful about it, whenever i see him liking stuff on Facebook i feel shitty. I don’t know why apologizing its so hard, well i don’t even know if its the apology part. Maybe its having to explain why i’ve been this way and blah blah that drives me away from doing it -_-
Yeah yesterdays PT session at police explorers kicked my ass, i didn’t feel anything at the moment other than my arms hurting from all the pushups. Today when i woke up my whole body hurt in the i can barely walk because i’m so damn sore kind of way, muscles i didn’t even know existed are hurting and its not like i’m a couch potato, i workout on the treadmill 5 days a week. Whenever i’m on the treadmill my incline is 4 whether i’m running or walking. I had read that running outside is harder than running on the treadmill somewhere, but i didn’t know it would make me this sore! I’m seriously considering running outside at least once or twice a week, but the thing that really pushed me over the edge was that i was competing against a guy in the running, so i was pushing my hardest. I’m afraid running in the street wont be fun cause ill have no competition :?
I kinda feel like a failure because i haven’t been on the treadmill for 2 days now and i’m on week 6 of my workout, i don’t want to murder my body so maybe tomorrow ill let it rest as well, depending on how i feel when i wake up and after work. Ill just repeat week 6 work out next week, setting me back a week -__- good thing i don’t have a deadline.
I’m exhausted i worked 330 to 1115 and i gotta be back for a 7 to 330 shift tomorrow, my boss is really fucking with my sleeping patterns! how am i supposed to be all happy if i’m running on 7 maybe 6 hours of sleep.
I havent grown the balls to talk to my friend and i feel awful about it, whenever i see him liking stuff on Facebook i feel shitty. I don’t know why apologizing its so hard, well i don’t even know if its the apology part. Maybe its having to explain why i’ve been this way and blah blah that drives me away from doing it -_-
Yeah yesterdays PT session at police explorers kicked my ass, i didn’t feel anything at the moment other than my arms hurting from all the pushups. Today when i woke up my whole body hurt in the i can barely walk because i’m so damn sore kind of way, muscles i didn’t even know existed are hurting and its not like i’m a couch potato, i workout on the treadmill 5 days a week. Whenever i’m on the treadmill my incline is 4 whether i’m running or walking. I had read that running outside is harder than running on the treadmill somewhere, but i didn’t know it would make me this sore! I’m seriously considering running outside at least once or twice a week, but the thing that really pushed me over the edge was that i was competing against a guy in the running, so i was pushing my hardest. I’m afraid running in the street wont be fun cause ill have no competition :?
I kinda feel like a failure because i haven’t been on the treadmill for 2 days now and i’m on week 6 of my workout, i don’t want to murder my body so maybe tomorrow ill let it rest as well, depending on how i feel when i wake up and after work. Ill just repeat week 6 work out next week, setting me back a week -__- good thing i don’t have a deadline.
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
Whatever i left out or whatever i can think of.
Before i posted this i was thinking to myself “man this might be a blog without pictures but then i looked down at my knee and found something picturable (not a word obviously) “ Agh i hate bruises they look so ugly! I probably got this today at police explorers, after the guy made us do so many pushups, my arms hurt as i held the steering wheel as i was driving home. I’ve never experience muscle failure like that or maybe my arms are terribly out of shape. I was so close to just walking off formation at police explorers today, because they were bitching about my nose ring, even though i had covered it with microporex. Well they don’t bitch about it at work, so why should they bitch about it at police explores? besides it ain’t like i’m getting paid or anything that’s just my time being volunteered. I had been thinking about leaving last week, but today they actually made us do PT and that was the main reason why i joined. I want someone pushing me to limits i didn’t think i could reach and they did today. So maybe ill come back next tuesday, ill make sure to ask before i show up if i HAVE to take the nose ring out, cause if i HAVE to ill just walk my little ass to the car and drive away never looking back, mhmm.Oh yeah! a while ago, i meant to write about this girl who is in police explorers and the other day when they were randomly talking about rape, she told me she got raped when she was 12. My whole life i’ve been lucky enough to be sheltered from knowing these things actually happen to people, but now i’m finding out; You never knowwho’s been through what and how they manage to still hold their head up high. Minutes before that i was judging the girl thinking she was a “freak” and i mean that in the sex freak kind of way, because she was talking to this other girl saying "i need to get me some” of course while this conversation was going on, i had to smile and pretend like i know what they are talking about; when in reality i’m a virgin, i don’t know shit about being a “freak” or craving sex, nor do i wanna find out with some random person and i most definitely don’t want to make my virginity a purity a public announcement, because you know how that goes “Awww your still a virgin that’s so cute” No its called being responsible, the best form of birth control is abstinence thank you very much! Anyways without getting off track here i was so shocked when the girl told me, i don’t know how to react to these kind of things, i didn’t know what to say. So i asked her if it was in Colombia, since thats where I’m from and thats where she’s from and thats not a rare thing to find out about over there. But i was even more shocked to find out it occurred here! the country where i begged my mom to move to after feeling unsafe at my own. She said that her friend (girl) took her to a party, drugged her and let 3 guys rape her, i couldn’t believe what i was hearing her “friend” set her up! The girl said that the next day she kicked the other girls ass but that doesn’t take away the fact that those guys not only rapped her but took her virginity away in the process. The saddest thing is this girl never told her mom... which in a way is good, because i cant imagine what a mom would feel like to find out her daughter was raped at that age or any age as a matter of fact; Yet i feel bad for the girl because she said she hasn’t gotten closure :/
Next, Today i worked 7 to 330 after working 330 to 1135 the previous night. There was a staff shortage and i had no lunch until about 5 when i got home, Im exhausted!
My friend Eli wrote me this on facebook chat
"i hope your doing okay
i think about how your doing everyday
jus thought i should let it out”
Damn i feel so bad an guilty right now for being such a bitch or acting this way, but he provoked it. Sigh i guess tomorrow i will apologize and tell him how i feel in the nicest way i can, he’s a good friend this shouldn’t be too difficult right?
Ps... i know where the bruise came from. I was fooling around on monday, because my coworker who’s like 4’ something was standing on a stool. So i tried to stand on it and me being 5’2 perhaps 3 i hit my knee on the service desk and i remember it hurting really bad! but i didn’t look ( i had to play it cool, i had a costumer)
Xoxo Julieth
Sunday, March 20, 2011
The catch up...
I haven’t blogged in what seems life forever! i have sooo many things to talk about but i often get overwhelmed and for some reason i don’t post, so in this one post ill attempt to get everything thats happened out of the way. WARNING: (events will be in no particular order.)
I met Miranda Cosgrove yesterday through this contest i won and now me and my friends are on the front page of my favorite radio station.
I’ve been working a lot it’s a bit overwhelming, most of the time when i’m off i just wanna be home doing nothing and this is obviously taking its toll on my friendships -_- or friendship i shall say actually its partly doing so eh you be the judge. My friend Eli recently pissed me off because he claims i never “hit him up”this is because he overwhelms me, he wants to hang out at least once a week! my god your not my boyfriend you don’t have the right to demand ANYTHING! I’m sorry i’m too tired to do anything geez! he always tells me about his girlfriends "being on his dick” but he’s on mine. I haven’t replied to any of his texts or bbm’s, i haven’t answered phone calls either. He’s not making the situation any better. He says i’m his best friend blah blah blah its all bullcrap because he calls everyone his bestfriend! the word really has no meaning, so screw it i will talk to him when i’m ready to.
I met Miranda Cosgrove yesterday through this contest i won and now me and my friends are on the front page of my favorite radio station.
A while ago i won a guitar signed by Taylor Swift i never received the guitar apparently the front desk at the radio station made a mistake and gave it to the wrong person (bullshit someone stole it) So day i was at the radio station to meet Miranda i asked them for my guitar and my concert tickets (the concert tickets were a different contest, i got a phone call around november telling me i had won tickets to Taylor swifts concert, i didn’t know how because i didn’t remember entering a contest. The guy told me he would call me when the tickets were ready and he never called...) The lady in charge asked me if i had gone on the cruise.. “what cruise?” the Taylor Swift tickets were tickets to go on the first voyage of allure of the sea’s the biggest cruise ship as of now (Great i missed out on going to Atlantis and all that good stuff thank you whoever fucked me over again!) So the lady felt really bad and gave me 2 tickets to Taylor Swift this summer and 4 to Katy Perry which is awesome but i will NEVER get over missing out on that cruise :’(
I went to the beach with my coworkers they are all black and it was HILARIOUS to hang out with them at the beach because they were so GHETTO and well people were definitely staring.
I know it’s a lot of pictures but don’t they say pictures say 1000 words or something like that :?
I’ve been working a lot it’s a bit overwhelming, most of the time when i’m off i just wanna be home doing nothing and this is obviously taking its toll on my friendships -_- or friendship i shall say actually its partly doing so eh you be the judge. My friend Eli recently pissed me off because he claims i never “hit him up”this is because he overwhelms me, he wants to hang out at least once a week! my god your not my boyfriend you don’t have the right to demand ANYTHING! I’m sorry i’m too tired to do anything geez! he always tells me about his girlfriends "being on his dick” but he’s on mine. I haven’t replied to any of his texts or bbm’s, i haven’t answered phone calls either. He’s not making the situation any better. He says i’m his best friend blah blah blah its all bullcrap because he calls everyone his bestfriend! the word really has no meaning, so screw it i will talk to him when i’m ready to.My dog is so cute and lazy!
The other day i was a clown at my job, it was my first time and i felt so weird :p
When i took the last picture i thought man if i was from those times in which they wore pants that high i would look darn good, those are man jeans by the way.
This is my friends brother taking a ketchup shot, pretty gross but oh so funny to watch.
I think that concludes my catch up blog.
Xoxo Julieth
Monday, March 14, 2011
Im so tired and i wanna write but at the same time i don’t.
Last night i must have gone to bed at like 9 because at 12 i woke up and had a hard time falling asleep. It sucked. On the bright side i had time to ponder on things and i randomly realized, I’m kinda being bullied at work and i just realized it. Im appalled at how long i’ve let this go on heres the story:
So there’s this girl that used to be in my english class in 11th grade, one day i had the misfortune of being put in a group with her and some other lazy bitches; since back in high school i was really picky about my grades and group projects (i always did all the work because no one can do a better job than yourself and i’m an extreme perfectionist on what i turn in) i worked all class long and about 10 mins before class ends these ignorant fucks have the nerve to demand to see my work to copy! (oh sure just cause your black and scary ill let you copy my work, lets take advantage of the “white girl”) I don’t know where i got the courage from to stand up for myself and say NO! when i tell you these bitches hated me from that day, its an understatement. Oh and the next day my 50 note cards for my research paper went missing from my teachers desk before he saw them FML (oh what a coincidence) I bet it was those girls who got rid of them. I cried my eyes out and the teacher gave me until the next day to turn them in. I stayed up until 3 am and cried some more, mostly because i was angry and i couldn’t prove or do anything about this “coincidence”
Anyways, even though my school is about 30 mins from where i live and 40 from where i work; I would be lucky enough to find out the girl who hated me worked there too (I didn’t work there at the time though) When i started working there she was friendly and stuff, i was relieved she had forgotten our fall out (I don’t need someone making my life miserable at work) but i wouldn’t mention all of this if there wasn’t a point. She’s a bully and i have just realized it, she’s always telling me what to do (No please or thank you) oh pick this up, go get this, go get that and she doesn’t just say it sometimes she kinda pushes me too. She’s a blue shirt and i remember when i was being trained to be a cashier, they told us that just because someone is a blue shirt it doesn’t give them the right to treat us unfairly. Well i am being treated like crap by this girl, i just recently acquired a blue shirt and through this realization i will make changes and stand up for myself once again, no matter what the consequences are bring it on! Everyone at work knows i’m the nicest person ever anyway so fuck it.
2 days ago this costumer made me so mad i had to take several deep breaths, because i could feel my face getting red.
This little dumb ass who works for the same company as me, but doesn’t work at my store, comes to it to cash her check; she had like 5 checks and she was taking her sweet ass signing them. So i take the other persons lotto, while she signs and take care of 2 people then she starts bitching about how i skipped her and the lady was complaining and i took care of her. So i said YOUR COMPLAINING AND IM TAKING CARE OF YOU! then she goes on about how i’m racist cause she’s black and i took the white costumer blah blah SO IGNORANT even another costumer who came after she left said so, she was like she’s so pathetic (that made me feel a little bit better).
Today my day went just like every other day goes at work...Other than the fact my supervisor said that the store manager said i looked dead and that i was going too slow (no shit i’m training and well morning shifts tend to make you rise from the dead) i guess ill try to speed it up and look more alive -_- Damn but i’m just not the outgoing type really, only sometimes and its very rare.
I haven’t talked to Mike in a while, i texted him the other day and he didn’t reply... Fuck it i wont text him first EVER again, i hate hoping for a text back so whatever happens shall happen. If he misses me he’ll make and effort to text me, because no matter when i see the texts he sends me, even if its the next day ill still reply and well thats clearly not the case with him. geez its 12 no wonder i feel so tired!
Ps.. my new camera is supposed to arrive tomorrow YAY! and its payday double score!
Xoxo Julieth
So there’s this girl that used to be in my english class in 11th grade, one day i had the misfortune of being put in a group with her and some other lazy bitches; since back in high school i was really picky about my grades and group projects (i always did all the work because no one can do a better job than yourself and i’m an extreme perfectionist on what i turn in) i worked all class long and about 10 mins before class ends these ignorant fucks have the nerve to demand to see my work to copy! (oh sure just cause your black and scary ill let you copy my work, lets take advantage of the “white girl”) I don’t know where i got the courage from to stand up for myself and say NO! when i tell you these bitches hated me from that day, its an understatement. Oh and the next day my 50 note cards for my research paper went missing from my teachers desk before he saw them FML (oh what a coincidence) I bet it was those girls who got rid of them. I cried my eyes out and the teacher gave me until the next day to turn them in. I stayed up until 3 am and cried some more, mostly because i was angry and i couldn’t prove or do anything about this “coincidence”
Anyways, even though my school is about 30 mins from where i live and 40 from where i work; I would be lucky enough to find out the girl who hated me worked there too (I didn’t work there at the time though) When i started working there she was friendly and stuff, i was relieved she had forgotten our fall out (I don’t need someone making my life miserable at work) but i wouldn’t mention all of this if there wasn’t a point. She’s a bully and i have just realized it, she’s always telling me what to do (No please or thank you) oh pick this up, go get this, go get that and she doesn’t just say it sometimes she kinda pushes me too. She’s a blue shirt and i remember when i was being trained to be a cashier, they told us that just because someone is a blue shirt it doesn’t give them the right to treat us unfairly. Well i am being treated like crap by this girl, i just recently acquired a blue shirt and through this realization i will make changes and stand up for myself once again, no matter what the consequences are bring it on! Everyone at work knows i’m the nicest person ever anyway so fuck it.
2 days ago this costumer made me so mad i had to take several deep breaths, because i could feel my face getting red.
This little dumb ass who works for the same company as me, but doesn’t work at my store, comes to it to cash her check; she had like 5 checks and she was taking her sweet ass signing them. So i take the other persons lotto, while she signs and take care of 2 people then she starts bitching about how i skipped her and the lady was complaining and i took care of her. So i said YOUR COMPLAINING AND IM TAKING CARE OF YOU! then she goes on about how i’m racist cause she’s black and i took the white costumer blah blah SO IGNORANT even another costumer who came after she left said so, she was like she’s so pathetic (that made me feel a little bit better).
Today my day went just like every other day goes at work...Other than the fact my supervisor said that the store manager said i looked dead and that i was going too slow (no shit i’m training and well morning shifts tend to make you rise from the dead) i guess ill try to speed it up and look more alive -_- Damn but i’m just not the outgoing type really, only sometimes and its very rare.
I haven’t talked to Mike in a while, i texted him the other day and he didn’t reply... Fuck it i wont text him first EVER again, i hate hoping for a text back so whatever happens shall happen. If he misses me he’ll make and effort to text me, because no matter when i see the texts he sends me, even if its the next day ill still reply and well thats clearly not the case with him. geez its 12 no wonder i feel so tired!
Ps.. my new camera is supposed to arrive tomorrow YAY! and its payday double score!
Xoxo Julieth
Monday, March 7, 2011
You open my eyes and i’m ready to go lead me into the light.
Today was my day off. I woke up around 11 and did nothing all day but read this blog i came upon by this guy who joined the army. I usually wouldn’t read a guys basic training experience blog, simply because its not something i can look forward to relating in the future or anything but i decided i should read this one and it was a good decision the following are my favorite parts:
"...We wait for chow and soon we ate of course and I was given my Miltary Glasses. I swear to God these glasses suck ass I'd tell you what these glasses are thick and brown and look like the ones from Revenge of the Nerds. Damn I look ugly in those!” I laughed a little when i saw this. I’ve seen mike wear those and they are pretty ugly but they looked so good on him :p he looked like a cute nerd.
"...anyways then we were told to wait outside. 40 of us Privates waiting outside for our trans to come along. Hm...guess what our transportation was a cattle car, wow I expected a bus like I saw on goarmy.com but I guess not.” OMG i almost died of laughter when i read this, jesus i couldn’t believe he would be naive enough to think that things were really like on goarmy.com i’m guessing he didn’t really do his research before he left and to be honest if i didn’t do any research i would probably expect the same thing too.
Other than that my day was ruined why? because i found out that a couple of weeks ago when my friend dropped my camera it broke forever, as in i couldn’t fix it when i took it apart and put it back together. The whole day i was trying to tell myself not to hold a grudge (I’m good at that, scary good) why is it that my shit always gets broken by someone else?
Last weekend i went skating with my coworkers and i took my camera with me, i ended up leaving it in the locker because i was afraid that if i fell, i would break it. Being the luckiest person in the world, as i am about to leave my stupid coworker takes the shit out of the locker and whats the first thing to fall to the ground from like 4 ft up? yup my camera FML and it wouldn’t turn on.
3 years ago before i bought this camera my other stupid friend dropped my camera into the pool... What the hell i’m getting a new camera and i’m not letting ANY fucktard touch it, idc what they say!
On a happy note my dear friend Lesly got her first car today! yay! a 2010 toyota corolla its lovely! I’m happy for her if you couldn’t tell by all the exclamation marks i’m leaving all over the place. Which brings me to the realization that i haven’t discussed any of my best friends here. I consider Lesly a bestfriend without the label, like i tell her everything and she knows a LOT about me, we just never call each other bestfriends. Probably because we have bestfriends on the side if that makes sense. Like she has her labeled bestfriend and i have mine.
Anyways i gotta go to work tomorrow 815 to 415 -_- on the bright side its payday and police explorer day, so hopefully that gets me through the day.
P.s im currently obsessed with the song above and i just realized Mike is an alien he is so hypnotizing, infects me with his love (not really love just the way he makes me feel lol) and fills me with his poison. For him ill risk it all <3
xoxo Julieth
"...We wait for chow and soon we ate of course and I was given my Miltary Glasses. I swear to God these glasses suck ass I'd tell you what these glasses are thick and brown and look like the ones from Revenge of the Nerds. Damn I look ugly in those!” I laughed a little when i saw this. I’ve seen mike wear those and they are pretty ugly but they looked so good on him :p he looked like a cute nerd.
"...anyways then we were told to wait outside. 40 of us Privates waiting outside for our trans to come along. Hm...guess what our transportation was a cattle car, wow I expected a bus like I saw on goarmy.com but I guess not.” OMG i almost died of laughter when i read this, jesus i couldn’t believe he would be naive enough to think that things were really like on goarmy.com i’m guessing he didn’t really do his research before he left and to be honest if i didn’t do any research i would probably expect the same thing too.
Other than that my day was ruined why? because i found out that a couple of weeks ago when my friend dropped my camera it broke forever, as in i couldn’t fix it when i took it apart and put it back together. The whole day i was trying to tell myself not to hold a grudge (I’m good at that, scary good) why is it that my shit always gets broken by someone else?
Last weekend i went skating with my coworkers and i took my camera with me, i ended up leaving it in the locker because i was afraid that if i fell, i would break it. Being the luckiest person in the world, as i am about to leave my stupid coworker takes the shit out of the locker and whats the first thing to fall to the ground from like 4 ft up? yup my camera FML and it wouldn’t turn on.
3 years ago before i bought this camera my other stupid friend dropped my camera into the pool... What the hell i’m getting a new camera and i’m not letting ANY fucktard touch it, idc what they say!
On a happy note my dear friend Lesly got her first car today! yay! a 2010 toyota corolla its lovely! I’m happy for her if you couldn’t tell by all the exclamation marks i’m leaving all over the place. Which brings me to the realization that i haven’t discussed any of my best friends here. I consider Lesly a bestfriend without the label, like i tell her everything and she knows a LOT about me, we just never call each other bestfriends. Probably because we have bestfriends on the side if that makes sense. Like she has her labeled bestfriend and i have mine.
Anyways i gotta go to work tomorrow 815 to 415 -_- on the bright side its payday and police explorer day, so hopefully that gets me through the day.
P.s im currently obsessed with the song above and i just realized Mike is an alien he is so hypnotizing, infects me with his love (not really love just the way he makes me feel lol) and fills me with his poison. For him ill risk it all <3
xoxo Julieth
Sunday, March 6, 2011
just another entry i guess.
It feels like forever since i’ve written on here and to be honest i don’t remember every single detail about what my days have been like since i wrote my last entry so ill number the things i remember.
1. I hate creepy men! I went into work today with the goal of being pleasant to people but people just ruin it for the rest and its hard to fake being in a good mood.
2. The dude that’s a manager at McD’s and was taking pictures like a creeper the other day, he still scares me. He scares me so much i can’t even make eye contact with him. This really bothers me!
3. As if one creeper wasn’t enough this driver for my company hits on me the other day and he was old, head covered full of grays old -_- in my country we call those kind of men “viejo verde” dammit why cant they like people their own age or within their age range. Its gross!
4. I’ve been getting trained to lead party’s at my princess job, i’m shy but ill eventually get used to having the spot light on me and leading (i hope :/)
5. The other day i went to the fair with my friend we were on "boy search” the fair turned out to be babies r us, as in a bunch of middle and high schoolers (bummer!) But i did see joey there, he’s so tall and funny i was making fun of him the whole time. Before you think i’m a bully let me tell you, when i first met this kid at the party, i went over his house with another girl and he told his friends he was pulling "college ho’s” Ha Ha Ha i thought pulling meant getting girls, not just being friends with them ever since i mock his silly words. The point is i saw Daniel at the fair but he didn’t see me seeing him, but i’m sure he saw me when i was walking away or not paying attention; If not he definitely knew i was there because i said hi to one of his friends when his friend was alone (i wish i could have confronted him about the shit he said about me, but fuck it i don’t care)
6. I haven’t gotten a blue shirt yet but i started training on how to work the service desk, so i guess i got a promotion :D it wont be official until i get to see myself in that lovely blue shirt though.
7. I told myself i would be more compassionate towards people on Food stamps but fuck that, they bring it upon themselves damn NOBODY is really poor enough not to be able to afford food in this country at least and unless your a bum but that doesn’t count. It doesn’t make sense to me how you can have an iphone and not be able to afford food ?
8. Tomorrow i start week 4 of my pre air force bootcamp work out, even though i’m not even in the process of enlisting nor have i made up my mind about the branch i want to join. id like to be in shape for when the time comes around even if its a year or a year and a half away.
9. Im proud of myself for sticking to my workout routine for 3 weeks now, though i have mixed feelings about deciding to give myself the weekends off.
10. I’ve been debating on whether to splurge on an iphone4, if i do my phone bill will go up 40 bucks and i wont have unlimited minutes but i’m worth it right? when i die i wont take anything but my soul with me, so why not enjoy the money i work so hard for.
11. Today i finished reading this girls blog, she reminds me so much of myself. I felt like sometimes i was reading my own blog. She’s the anti me, the person that sometimes i secretly wished i was, like a "badass" for lack of a better word. She’s cool i hope i can become her friend or something (i know i sound like a creeper)
12. No matter how much i tell myself that i wont put my hopes up for mike because 1 he’s in the navy stationed god knows how many miles away from me and 2 he probably doesn’t feel the way i feel. Weeks can go by without us talking but as soon as he texts me or i get to see him on Skype my heart melts and suddenly its like i don’t care about all the negatives, because i’m enjoying the moment (for a little at least because it doesn’t last as long as id like it to) as for when he doesn’t talk to me i have memories to keep me hanging i guess, my favorite was when he was waiting at the airport to board his plane, it was like a 2 hr layover and he spent the whole time Skyping with me. He looked so handsome in his uniform like a little sailor <3
13. Dear John,
14. 15..................1000. I miss Mike and i wish i knew how he feels about me :/ one thing is for sure i will NOT tell him straight up how i feel! Why? because i wouldn’t forgive myself if i scared him away and lost what we have (or what my heart thinks we have) what ever that might be. I know this is wrong if i freak him out just by telling him how i feel blah blah then he doesn’t deserve me or something like that, but i was the girl who went from boyfriend to boyfriend and i think the reason i’ve toned that down is because i get more emotionally attached, i have a hard time trusting guys or i’m more careful about peoples feelings (Fuck why cant i just be selfish) I haven’t had a boyfriend in like 3 years :o oh god i cant even remember when i had my last boyfriend (It’s that bad!) but no no no its my fault and i brought this upon myself, so when hell breaks loose or i get fucked over ill have to remember i caused it -_-
xoxo Julieth
1. I hate creepy men! I went into work today with the goal of being pleasant to people but people just ruin it for the rest and its hard to fake being in a good mood.
2. The dude that’s a manager at McD’s and was taking pictures like a creeper the other day, he still scares me. He scares me so much i can’t even make eye contact with him. This really bothers me!
3. As if one creeper wasn’t enough this driver for my company hits on me the other day and he was old, head covered full of grays old -_- in my country we call those kind of men “viejo verde” dammit why cant they like people their own age or within their age range. Its gross!
4. I’ve been getting trained to lead party’s at my princess job, i’m shy but ill eventually get used to having the spot light on me and leading (i hope :/)
5. The other day i went to the fair with my friend we were on "boy search” the fair turned out to be babies r us, as in a bunch of middle and high schoolers (bummer!) But i did see joey there, he’s so tall and funny i was making fun of him the whole time. Before you think i’m a bully let me tell you, when i first met this kid at the party, i went over his house with another girl and he told his friends he was pulling "college ho’s” Ha Ha Ha i thought pulling meant getting girls, not just being friends with them ever since i mock his silly words. The point is i saw Daniel at the fair but he didn’t see me seeing him, but i’m sure he saw me when i was walking away or not paying attention; If not he definitely knew i was there because i said hi to one of his friends when his friend was alone (i wish i could have confronted him about the shit he said about me, but fuck it i don’t care)
6. I haven’t gotten a blue shirt yet but i started training on how to work the service desk, so i guess i got a promotion :D it wont be official until i get to see myself in that lovely blue shirt though.
7. I told myself i would be more compassionate towards people on Food stamps but fuck that, they bring it upon themselves damn NOBODY is really poor enough not to be able to afford food in this country at least and unless your a bum but that doesn’t count. It doesn’t make sense to me how you can have an iphone and not be able to afford food ?
8. Tomorrow i start week 4 of my pre air force bootcamp work out, even though i’m not even in the process of enlisting nor have i made up my mind about the branch i want to join. id like to be in shape for when the time comes around even if its a year or a year and a half away.
9. Im proud of myself for sticking to my workout routine for 3 weeks now, though i have mixed feelings about deciding to give myself the weekends off.
10. I’ve been debating on whether to splurge on an iphone4, if i do my phone bill will go up 40 bucks and i wont have unlimited minutes but i’m worth it right? when i die i wont take anything but my soul with me, so why not enjoy the money i work so hard for.
11. Today i finished reading this girls blog, she reminds me so much of myself. I felt like sometimes i was reading my own blog. She’s the anti me, the person that sometimes i secretly wished i was, like a "badass" for lack of a better word. She’s cool i hope i can become her friend or something (i know i sound like a creeper)
12. No matter how much i tell myself that i wont put my hopes up for mike because 1 he’s in the navy stationed god knows how many miles away from me and 2 he probably doesn’t feel the way i feel. Weeks can go by without us talking but as soon as he texts me or i get to see him on Skype my heart melts and suddenly its like i don’t care about all the negatives, because i’m enjoying the moment (for a little at least because it doesn’t last as long as id like it to) as for when he doesn’t talk to me i have memories to keep me hanging i guess, my favorite was when he was waiting at the airport to board his plane, it was like a 2 hr layover and he spent the whole time Skyping with me. He looked so handsome in his uniform like a little sailor <3
13. Dear John,
Two weeks together, that's all it took. Two weeks for me to fall in love with you <3 ahh i love this movie, i love this quote and i wish i could experience a love like that. Minus the deployment and the heartbreak.
14. 15..................1000. I miss Mike and i wish i knew how he feels about me :/ one thing is for sure i will NOT tell him straight up how i feel! Why? because i wouldn’t forgive myself if i scared him away and lost what we have (or what my heart thinks we have) what ever that might be. I know this is wrong if i freak him out just by telling him how i feel blah blah then he doesn’t deserve me or something like that, but i was the girl who went from boyfriend to boyfriend and i think the reason i’ve toned that down is because i get more emotionally attached, i have a hard time trusting guys or i’m more careful about peoples feelings (Fuck why cant i just be selfish) I haven’t had a boyfriend in like 3 years :o oh god i cant even remember when i had my last boyfriend (It’s that bad!) but no no no its my fault and i brought this upon myself, so when hell breaks loose or i get fucked over ill have to remember i caused it -_-
xoxo Julieth
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