No Balls

This will probably be the shortest blog ill ever post.
I’m exhausted i worked 330 to 1115 and i gotta be back for a 7 to 330 shift tomorrow, my boss is really fucking with my sleeping patterns! how am i supposed to be all happy if i’m running on 7 maybe 6 hours of sleep.
I havent grown the balls to talk to my friend and i feel awful about it, whenever i see him liking stuff on Facebook i feel shitty. I don’t know why apologizing its so hard, well i don’t even know if its the apology part. Maybe its having to explain why i’ve been this way and blah blah that drives me away from doing it   -_-
Yeah yesterdays PT session at police explorers kicked my ass, i didn’t feel anything at the moment other than my arms hurting from all the pushups. Today when i woke up my whole body hurt in the i can barely walk because i’m so damn sore kind of way, muscles i didn’t even know existed are hurting and its not like i’m a couch potato, i workout on the treadmill 5 days a week. Whenever i’m on the treadmill my incline is 4 whether i’m running or walking. I had read that running outside is harder than running on the treadmill somewhere, but i didn’t know it would make me this sore! I’m seriously considering running outside at least once or twice a week, but the thing that really pushed me over the edge was that i was competing against a guy in the running, so i was pushing my hardest. I’m afraid running in the street wont be fun cause ill have no competition :?
I kinda feel like a failure because i haven’t been on the treadmill for 2 days now and i’m on week 6 of my workout, i don’t want to murder my body so maybe tomorrow ill let it rest as well, depending on how i feel when i wake up and after work. Ill just repeat week 6 work out next week, setting me back a week -__- good thing i don’t have a deadline.