I'm a magnet for

liars obviously.
I don't know why people lie about stupid shit, well actually not even stupid shit but stupid non existent reasons.
So my buddy Matt aka the porn star in the making, as blogged about below
http://julistar15.blogspot.com/2012/01/reasons-why-i-love-my-blog.html
Contacted me again a little while ago after HE dropped the news on me and didn't text me again.
He told me a story about how he tried to kill himself that night he told me he did porn, because his parents saw the porn site where he was and confronted him about it and thats why he didn't text me again blah blah blah...
He said he was hospitalized for like a month or 2. I felt so bad because he had tickets to this concert he was really excited to go to and he didn't get to go to because he was "hospitalized"i also felt bad for deleting his number and not checking up on him (what kind of friend was i?)
Then a couple of days ago he adds me on Facebook and guess fucking what?
He went to that concert! So what does that tell me? Who the fuck makes up stories like that? Bull fucking shit, i felt bad for nothing! Once again maturity doesn't come with age and i might never understand why people lie about the most bizarre shit to get pity out of people.
Oh and he said he's joining the military too O_0
Hows that for a catch up.

Fuck you fuck you and fuck you a third time.

Nothing makes an afternoon better than a nice piece of duchebaggery, really it warms my heart.

Shit was so uncalled and that is all i have to say. How do you expect me to be your friend if your taking out all your ex gf, girl hating rage on me? As if my self esteem wasn't low enough i just needed that one blow. Needless to say i haven't talked to him since, i expect an apology! I tried to tell myself that i was over reacting way too many times. I consulted my dear douchebag kings coworkers and they came to the conclusion that this was uncalled for and asshole worthy, so FUCK YOU!

Then he said "Gotta appreciate a girl who's got a little sass with that ass ;) FIESTY!" blah blah blah he said he was kidding, i took shit seriously. Yesterday i saw my 2nd boyfriend ever, from like 8th grade he didn't see me haha i guess he hit puberty.Today i saw my ex boyfriend from back in the skatepark days. He dumped me after 5 days of "relationshit" The epic moment 15/14 year old me would have loved more than anything in the world! what any dumped ex girlfriend wants... The moment when the ex boyfriend openly admits he's an idiot because he let you go. HA!That was almost 5-6 years ago and i still remember exactly how it happened and what his "excuse" was shits crazy how things turn. Never in a million years would i have thought that id be in his room again. He wouldn't stop staring and me and calling me gorgeous. Things have changed, good riddance. Cigz and weed really fuck you up, he looks so much older and i don't even know how to explain it. Lets see he tried to kiss me when i was leaving... The whole hug and stare into each others eyes bullshit. I said no  no no you have a girlfriend (lucky for me i had an excuse to deny the kiss other than saying dude you look like crap stop smoking) then he denied it, so i pulled his profile up on my phone and he then said that she put that there blah blah blah. Kiss on the cheek and i was on my way :D

This night is sparkling...

I wish haha.
When I procrastinate i forget all the shit i was supposed to write about boo!
I'll see if i can make a list ahem:

*Being on your period + manager staying i have no personal life + sore legs + sales lead saying i can't go home at 4:45 when i'm scheduled until 5, yet my availability is clearly until 4:30 + a comment i can't remember = Me saying look at my eyes, I'm exhausted and tired of this shit. Im going to quit i don't know when or how but i can't take this much longer.

*The Hot Chelle Rae concert was amazing! I wish i had learned more of their songs before i went though.

*I bought 3 tickets for warped tour this summer 1 for me another for myself and one for I.

*I LOVE going to concerts, its the rush i get from screaming my lungs out.

*If i didn't screen shoot this profile i came across, what kind of person would i be considered? Ratchet! who puts shit like this up on Facebook 0__o I thought it was funny.

*I "gave up" frozen yogurt. It made me gain 15 pounds and by "made me" i mean ( it was so delicious i couldn't stop eating it.) Im hoping when i quit, the temptations will be over; ill have time to invest into being fit and ill get back to 110 crossing my fingers.

*In case that doesn't work i ran 3.5 miles on sunday, tuesday. Today since I'm so sore i can barely walk, i skated the 3.5. Why is getting fit so hard (whinneeeeeeeyyy biatch)

*When and if I'm satisfied with my body aka workout at least 4 days a week and be consistent. I shall reward myself with a shopping spree, I'm debating on whether i should invest in "classier" clothing since i dress more like a surfer/skater... Long hair don't care... Speaking of long hair i got my ends trimmed :p

*Because i actually pulled out all the food i carry in my purse and it might have shocked some people.
Oh hey my 2 ex boyfriends are making my coworker into a sandwich hahahahahaha.

*My coworker updated MY, MINE, MIO Facebook status asking guys for a date talking about i would pay. I borrowed his phone and googled hairy dick then posted it on his Facebook sounds mature enough. So there's a Troll war... He then posted this lovely picture of me doing what i do best...

*Another coworker texted me "I like you" after i said i hate him jokingly obviously. It took me all day to reply because i was flipping out and i still didn't have a reply to that so i did what men do best... avoid the questions they don't wanna answer and change the subject.

*Oh yeah and Happy Birthday Mr.Deployed ;)

This night is sparkling...

I wish haha.
When I procrastinate i forget all the shit i was supposed to write about boo!
I'll see if i can make a list ahem:

*Being on your period + manager staying i have no personal life + sore legs + sales lead saying i can't go home at 4:45 when i'm scheduled until 5, yet my availability is clearly until 4:30 + a comment i can't remember = Me saying look at my eyes, I'm exhausted and tired of this shit. Im going to quit i don't know when or how but i can't take this much longer.

*The Hot Chelle Rae concert was amazing! I wish i had learned more of their songs before i went though.

*I bought 3 tickets for warped tour this summer 1 for me another for myself and one for I.

*I LOVE going to concerts, its the rush i get from screaming my lungs out.

*If i didn't screen shoot this profile i came across, what kind of person would i be considered? Ratchet! who puts shit like this up on Facebook 0__o I thought it was funny.

*I "gave up" frozen yogurt. It made me gain 15 pounds and by "made me" i mean ( it was so delicious i couldn't stop eating it.) Im hoping when i quit, the temptations will be over; ill have time to invest into being fit and ill get back to 110 crossing my fingers.

*In case that doesn't work i ran 3.5 miles on sunday, tuesday. Today since I'm so sore i can barely walk, i skated the 3.5. Why is getting fit so hard (whinneeeeeeeyyy biatch)

*When and if I'm satisfied with my body aka workout at least 4 days a week and be consistent. I shall reward myself with a shopping spree, I'm debating on whether i should invest in "classier" clothing since i dress more like a surfer/skater... Long hair don't care... Speaking of long hair i got my ends trimmed :p

*Because i actually pulled out all the food i carry in my purse and it might have shocked some people.
Oh hey my 2 ex boyfriends are making my coworker into a sandwich hahahahahaha.

*My coworker updated MY, MINE, MIO Facebook status asking guys for a date talking about i would pay. I borrowed his phone and googled hairy dick then posted it on his Facebook sounds mature enough. So there's a Troll war... He then posted this lovely picture of me doing what i do best...

*Another coworker texted me "I like you" after i said i hate him jokingly obviously. It took me all day to reply because i was flipping out and i still didn't have a reply to that so i did what men do best... avoid the questions they don't wanna answer and change the subject.

*Oh yeah and Happy Birthday Mr.Deployed ;)

I'm fucked

Fuck someone found my blog.

Forever nice?

I can be kind of a bitch a times. I know i like getting things my way and when i don't, i get kind of upset.
When i was younger i manipulated situations, then i grew up -_-
Now I'm nice wtf?
Feeling bad for people, sympathizing and listening to their shit when they haven't given a shit about mine.
This is directly towards you Gineo if you ever find this:
How the fuck do you have the nerve to come to me with your girl problem bullshit after you didn't even bother to be there when my dog died? Takes some kind of asshole to complain about stupid ass girl when your friend is in pain. Actually its just selfish and i wish i was more like that but I'm too nice to be that way so i sit and listen to your whinny bitch like ways.
This applies to any guy out there:
1. If your seeing a girl and everything seems happy lalala best girl ever, then out of nowhere she stops talking to you as much IT MEANS SHE HAS FUCKING LOST INTEREST! or she's having doubts either way not interested!
2. If she dumps you with the following excuses : "I'm not ready for a relationship" "i've been screwed over so much i still need to heal" SHE HAS NO INTEREST! she's only trying to dump you in a nice way, because any girl in their right mind would not dump "Prince charming EVER!"
3.Girls are stupid, yes just as stupid as guys and we will get back with the cheating ex bf because of "love" and it takes someone pretty amazing to get us to say "NO!" to that ex boyfriend.
4. Last fuckinly. If she's back with the ex and she doesn't text you? DONT BLOW HER SHIT UP! nobody wants a dog licking their ass asking them questions "oh why? why him? why not me? what did i do wrong? oh oh"  how about you shut the fuck up and move the fuck on! Delete a bitches number and find someone else. Stop feeling sorry for yourself, its immature oh and posting on your Facebook sad songs and talking about how miserable you are now? That is so fucking 7th grade go find your attention somewhere else.
Ahhh feels good to have that off my chest :D

On being beyond emotionally unstable and falling to pieces

I can't remember the last time i was able to cry full on out loud without a care about who hears me (I've cried but its always silent, you know into my pillow)

Shitty attachment day at work.

Come home happy to have the afternoon to myself or whatever is left of it being home at 5.

The first thing i do when i get home from work is say hi to my dog, its weird but thats just the way it is. 

Today she wasn't there to greet me at the door; I walk in and ask where she is and my mom tells me she's in a coma.

I immediately break down and sit next to her for like an hour talking to her, petting her. My heart longed for a response so bad and i looked into her open eye for some sort of life, Her paws were cold and she was breathing, with difficulty but still breathing.

I ate and the headache brought upon by my tears put me to sleep for about an hour and a half.

Wake up and she isn't there anymore... She's gone forever... No more tail wagging, wake up licks, mailman  barks, no more anything.

Devastated doesn't even begin to describe how i feel, i don't know what to do with my self.

I love having no one there for me in times like this, i just wanna wake up from this nightmare

I love you Amber forever and always, gone but never forgotten <3