Sunday, February 5, 2012

Story of my life pt 2

New Years probably 2003 i was on the rooftop crying. I cried because i was tired, scared, sick of feeling unsafe, i wanted to move to the US so badly. I had been here for vacation twice; Once when i was 5 and then when i was 10, so i knew it was safe and beautiful.
Summer 2004 after i finished 6 grade we made the big move and i couldn’t have been happier.
I started school that fall and was put in the ESOL program which is for non english speaking kids, there were hispanics from several places, russians, haitians, etc.
Those 2 years of middle school were best 2 years ever! all we did was play around all day and “learn” 
I will never forget my first day of school, here is that story..
I get on the school bus (because the school is like 30 mins away) all i have is this yellow sticky note with “Salcedo” written on it. When i get to school i’m lost like a puppy, not only that but i spoke no english and the school i went to is a high school/ middle school so the campus is huge!
I remember showing several people the sticky note and saying where? this?
Finally someone pointed me towards the gym, where i met a girl from mexico who was in the same situation as i was and we became bffs.
All the ESOL kids got bullied! americans made fun of our accents and looked at us like we were some kind of shit. I was the coolest kid at the gym locker room the first day because i had a belly ring at 12, back in the day that was kind of a big deal but it didn’t make a difference. 

Xoxo Julieth

Saturday, February 4, 2012

Story of my life...literally... part 1

Once upon a time, on a friday at 5 something am, May 15 1992 i was born to a vet (mommy) and a computer tech (dad).
I was born in Cali, Colombia and i was the first born.
I was spoiled as hell... i remember the parties my mom would throw for me on my birthdays, pinatas, clowns, goodie bags, food, lots of dancing, prizes and lovely cakes. Oh i also remember i would find a reason to cry at all of my parties.
I was everybody’s little girl, so my great grandpa and grandma would spoil me with their love.
My gmas house was 3 stories and it was connected to my great grandparents house, i was a crazy kid so i might as well list the shit i did and remember.
* I tried to save an ant from drowning in the patio and that bitch bite me, i also picked up a dead bee to give it a nice memorial and it stung me (guess it wasn’t dead enough).
*My mom said i used to eat cockroaches, i don’t recall this whatsoever.
*Since my gma had a salon in her house i gave one of my friends a crazy ass hair cut in the bathroom, her dad wanted to murder me.
*I was/ am a evil ass bitch pranking people brings me to tears of laughter, my uncle was scared to have his kids around me; if someone was crying what did Julieth do to you now?
*I used to climb on the roof and the neighbors would flip out and call my gma and mom because i was going to “fall" off the 3rd story. Since all the house and roofs were connected, i could call my bff from the roof and talk to her when she went to her back patio.
* That base on the left... yeah one day i tried to climb one of those a less fancy one that is and my foot fell though the hole,landed with my wee wee in between the metal and my wee wee turned purple and got swollen. I was so embarrassed to have my mom put medicine on it.
*I used to eat dog food (the dry one) and it tasted soooo good!
*I had pet chickens, a pink one, green and more. They used to sell them outside of school.
*At my elementary school i got the guy all the girls wanted and ran against him for class president... i beat him ;)
*There was one tree in the school playground and we made the devils soup there.. let me explain we used to take the ketchup and mustard packages and mix them with dirt next to the tree to feed “el diablo” and since it was cleaned up by someone after school we though he ate it.
*The first time i saw a dead person in its coffin was when my dad forgot to pick me up early from school and they were hosting the memorial there... I haven’t been to anything dead related since because i’m scarred.
*Never actually learned all the multiplication tables and i didn’t learn how to divide until like last year, yet i graduated high school with honors.
*I made my friends eat markers that smelled like fruits along with wide out because they smelled good. Then when we were told it was poisonous we went to the bathroom to eat soap, so we could throw up yeah.. we ended up getting a parent teacher conference, except i didn't tell my mom to show up because i was scared and at the conference my excuse was that my mom was taking my siblings to school.
*On a school field trip i pooped in my pants because they wouldn’t let me go to the bathroom. When the bus ride home was stank everyone figured somebody stepped in shit, not that i was sitting on it.
*I used to watch my mom do operations on dogs and she said i tried operating them myself several times good thing i was caught before hand.
*I ate the plants that grew on the rooftops garden because i saw the chickens eat them and they tasted good.

Xoxo Julieth

Thursday, February 2, 2012

All in one day

Yesterday was the day to get shit done...
I get up at 730 am to go to the stupid place where they give you shots fa freee, wait there for 2 hours and bitches wanted to charge me 200 for 2 shots because i’m “19” oh no thank you. If i get them done with the medical exam is 205... There goes a waste of morning and sleep.
I went to work at BestBuy 11-3 because i only had to do call backs from the comfort of a chair :D
Since i got off early and i called my mom and she happened to be leaving the doctors. She said come here now and get your exam over with! Then she tells me the guy checked her ass crack or i dont know and i’m like ohh no ill just wait until tomorrow. Mommy didn’t wanna let her big little girl be checked out by some old man doc by herself so i went. When i first got here (the usa) i got the TB shot and since the stupid ass doctor didnt give us the records i had to get it again!
It actually didn’t hurt much. I went to work and i swear i could feel the meds spread, maybe i’m really dramatic when it comes to that stuff lol  Then it was time to get blood taken out of my arm for the first time ever... dun dun dun... My hands were shaking. If i wasn’t clenching my fists so hard the doctor could have seen it lmao it felt like a piercing and it felt like it took FOREVER!
Blah blah blah he checked me out, said i had excellent reflexes, checked my ass crack idk why and it was finally over.





Then i went to work at Pinkberry and met now slimmer former “fat joe” i saw  him get off his range rover and i’m like this dude looks so familiar, but his clothes look average. I was expecting a
stack of money when he was gonna pay but it wasn’t,  so i’m
like nahh he aint famous. Then someone tells me do you know who that is? uh no... Thats “Fat joe” oh shit i need a picture haha you know to add to my pictures with “celebs” now if i could only meet uh idk demi,miley,selena,katy,rih ?
Some foolishness i saw on youtube and had to try myself “cinnamon challenge?” but apparently i did it wrong.

xoxo Julieth

Saturday, January 28, 2012

Needing rehab.

The first step in seeking recovery is admitting you have a problem and i have a problem with frozen yogurt from my job at PinkBerry. That stuff is so delicious, i wanna eat it all the time!


I’m not too crazy about being snow white man that wig was itchy and it made me look hideous!  Id rather be Belle and don’t even get me started on what wearing make up did to my face that day ugh i look like a monster :(  but i gotta make my $$ regardless. 
The party was so pretty! They had dresses for the girls, crowns, jewelry shiet. This girl was turning like 3 and they had soooooo many things there, probably cost over 10,000 easily.
On Bestbuy news. There’s 2 full time positions opening up in my department and my sales leads encouraged me to apply because they obviously like me and i’m a good worker duh! I hope i can score one of those, if not i still have my 2 other jobs to fall back on so theres nothing to lose. In april i hit a year of working for Bestbuy its crazy how time goes by so quickly.
Pinkberry i know i’ve only been with you guys for like 2 weeks but damn i want a raise already haha.


 


A mandated court date to be a witness for a dude that i don’t even know? Cool now thats a day of money making i wont get back -_-
That same day i find out that my 8 years of avoiding the doctor are over. In order to push some paper work through, i need immunizations and physical tests. That means 8 years worth of shots? I’m terrified.
Now onto the cute pictures i took for Mr. Deployed because he’s a patriots fan :) i’m so thoughtful and cute in pigtails. My hair is ridiculously long and i absolutely love it!

 

 

Xoxo Julieth

Monday, January 23, 2012

Wow

Its been almost a year since i started this blogging thing  ( 1/29/11 ) and i reached 1000 views like 2 days ago, it took a whole year for that and it was mostly due to the ColdPlay ticket uproar lmao.
I should have written last night when i had everything on my mind -_-


Dear Mr. Deployed WHAT THE FUCK? you log on and you don’t message me? (Though i must admit its a bit relieving to see you on, otherwise id be worried something happened to you) The whole point of me keeping a profile is to talk to you and you wanna shut me out :/
I’m very sorry your friends got hurt in combat and i wish i could change that, but i cant do anything but express how sorry i am for that to have happened. Ill stick around for a little bit longer on if i get no response i’m deleting that shit, enjoy my letters...
Never mind he wrote 5 mins later :D telepathy o_-
ahhhh <33333




Yesterday Kevin ( kinda boss but not really) Tells me his son asked how i was doing... Really? haha i met the kid the day i went to my bosses house. I walk in my pajamas, bed hair and big t shirt, shit i didn’t know he was down from MA. So i’m like wtf? She has a man in the kitchen? then i read his shirt and i’m like ahhh Kevins son whew.
Anyways kinda shocked he would remember me being i looked so “chill”
I got that natural beauty ;) like the picture says. I like wearing make up on special occasions but i hate what it does to my skin (makes me break out) So i sport my naturally clear skin. After all i work hard as fuck to keep it that way.




Work has been treating me well, blah, blah, blah, people piss me off from time to time, i’m addicted to frozen yogurt, i’ve been working everyday, i love making money nothing new here.

Xoxo Julieth

Tuesday, January 17, 2012

Reasons why i love my blog

1. I can say whatever i want, however i want it; So like fuckshitcuntmotherfucker every sentence if i wanted to.
2. I can look back on my entries and reflect upon them.
3. Its mine ;) ( I couldn’t come up with anymore reasons)

If anything on here offends you, feel free to click the X and exit because i’m not censoring myself for you.
If i’ve written about you or have written something that makes you mad and you happen to stumble upon my blog. I’m sorry, shouldn't have been snooping around and its the cold truth; Things i wish i could say to your face but if you know me you can figure im too polite to.

Sorry Matt
As if telling me he’s bi wasn’t mind fucking enough. Yesterday he tells me he’s also a porn star in the making, as in he only does pictures for now. fuck me! not literally but fuuuck that is crazy! I can only picture him doing that gay porn, where the guys make that little "i’m innocent face” and no i don’t watch or look at gay porn. I just remember back in the day on myspace there was shitloads of profiles like that.

I think one of the reasons i keep my online dating profile is because of the funny profiles i read on there when i’m bored, check this bullshit out.

I think the profile speaks for itself. I’ve never read something so ridiculous and ill just leave it at that...
The other reason is to talk to Mr. Deployed whom i’ve developed some sort of attachment to, please don’t hurt me <3

Saving the best for last obviously “controlling wives and mothers”
So now that i’m working at the frozen yogurt place, i’ve found more reasons to hate people. who would have thought there was more to hate?
Women come into this place and tell their husbands what the fuck to get... “no don’t get that... Its not fat free!” bitch are you eating it or is he eating it? same goes for their kids why cant they enjoy a treat to themselves without you controlling bitches dictating what your kids and husbands eat? so what if they want chocolate, brownie bites and more chocolate. It’s not going to kill them to indulge every once in a while. Please if i ever turn into one of these girls/women/wives somebody please beat me with the closest item in reach? I don’t wanna have a bitch and i don’t wanna be somebody elses bitch.
No wonder SOME* husbands are sick of their wives or they are stupidly screwed over, can you grow a backbone please...

Xoxo Julieth

Sunday, January 8, 2012

Swing,swing, swing from the tangles of My heart is crushed by a former love. Can you help me find a way To carry on again

Fuck yeah for the first blog of the new year! Happy new year to whoever reads this, whenever you read it. I hope your year as prosperous as i wish mine to be.


Forever ago i went on a “blind outing” and i don’t mean completely blind; its blind because i didn’t skype the guy before. Luckily he wasn’t some 40 yr old.
We went out to eat ice cream and i kicked this guys ass at eating this giant sundae. My ice cream sundae was Pina colada and bubble gum with strawberry as a toping can you say delicious? because i can. Oh and because i have no shame i stuffed the 30 or whatever balls of gum my ice cream had, until my cheeks looked like a hamsters when they eat, yup i looked like the hamster in that picture. I got my braces taken off that day so i went all out. I like the guy as a friend, nothing more. He showed me a picture of JT Austin and Kyle Massey apparently they smoke weed... Noooooo completely ruined his character on wizzards of wavely place for me, i cant look at him without thinking you little ugh! He said Selena was a prude bitch? My applause goes to Selena Gomez for truly being a good girl and since when does being prude make you a bitch? FU JT, theres nothing wrong with being prude!


On the other hand there was this other kid i went out with my bff and his bff, they were cool guys to hang out with definitely funny. That went to shit and i’m too nice to blog about the fuckedupness of the whole thing. I will say a couple of things though. One he literally grabbed my face, kissed me and then he called me and told me he was bisexual. Mindfucked doesn’t even begin to describe how i felt. Two after i accept all his fucked up past, key word past. HE doesn’t text me again, might have something to do with me going off because he cancelled plans last minute, after i had driven halfway. If theres one thing that fucks me up is not getting things my way or most importantly WASTING gas...


So remember how i completely bashed this frozen yogurt place i had in New York? PinkBerry because i paid so much money for my cup?
I was at work on Thursday and i was arguing with a guy about how much they sucked and how Yogurtland was better... The guy was the owner... So after bashing his company, i asked for a job LMFAO I have no shame! He said i could put him as a reference and so the next day i was asking for my job. The following day i got it. I start on tuesday. Check me out Julieth 3 jobs work hard!


So i am extremely thankful for how my year has started off. 
Even though i thought it was going to go to shit because my schedule was changed and i was supposed to work jan 1st. I wasn’t notified of this change and i found out an hour later after my shift started FUCK that day was time and a half pay! I came in an hour late and made my $$$ hell yeah and even thought i was only scheduled for 2 days this week (sunday and thursday) I ended up working (sunday,monday,wednesday,thursday,friday and saturday) is it 2 weeks yet? i wanna see my paycheck with my 7 hours of overtime please.


My goal is to pay off my car by my 1 year anniversary with the thing, April 5th. 6000 to go, 3000 in the bank but i ain’t emptying my bank account lol






Xoxo Julieth