Story of my life...literally... part 1

Once upon a time, on a friday at 5 something am, May 15 1992 i was born to a vet (mommy) and a computer tech (dad).
I was born in Cali, Colombia and i was the first born.
I was spoiled as hell... i remember the parties my mom would throw for me on my birthdays, pinatas, clowns, goodie bags, food, lots of dancing, prizes and lovely cakes. Oh i also remember i would find a reason to cry at all of my parties.
I was everybody’s little girl, so my great grandpa and grandma would spoil me with their love.
My gmas house was 3 stories and it was connected to my great grandparents house, i was a crazy kid so i might as well list the shit i did and remember.
* I tried to save an ant from drowning in the patio and that bitch bite me, i also picked up a dead bee to give it a nice memorial and it stung me (guess it wasn’t dead enough).
*My mom said i used to eat cockroaches, i don’t recall this whatsoever.
*Since my gma had a salon in her house i gave one of my friends a crazy ass hair cut in the bathroom, her dad wanted to murder me.
*I was/ am a evil ass bitch pranking people brings me to tears of laughter, my uncle was scared to have his kids around me; if someone was crying what did Julieth do to you now?

*I used to climb on the roof and the neighbors would flip out and call my gma and mom because i was going to “fall" off the 3rd story. Since all the house and roofs were connected, i could call my bff from the roof and talk to her when she went to her back patio.
* That base on the left... yeah one day i tried to climb one of those a less fancy one that is and my foot fell though the hole,landed with my wee wee in between the metal and my wee wee turned purple and got swollen. I was so embarrassed to have my mom put medicine on it.
*I used to eat dog food (the dry one) and it tasted soooo good!
*I had pet chickens, a pink one, green and more. They used to sell them outside of school.
*At my elementary school i got the guy all the girls wanted and ran against him for class president... i beat him ;)
*There was one tree in the school playground and we made the devils soup there.. let me explain we used to take the ketchup and mustard packages and mix them with dirt next to the tree to feed “el diablo” and since it was cleaned up by someone after school we though he ate it.
*The first time i saw a dead person in its coffin was when my dad forgot to pick me up early from school and they were hosting the memorial there... I haven’t been to anything dead related since because i’m scarred.
*Never actually learned all the multiplication tables and i didn’t learn how to divide until like last year, yet i graduated high school with honors.
*I made my friends eat markers that smelled like fruits along with wide out because they smelled good. Then when we were told it was poisonous we went to the bathroom to eat soap, so we could throw up yeah.. we ended up getting a parent teacher conference, except i didn't tell my mom to show up because i was scared and at the conference my excuse was that my mom was taking my siblings to school.
*On a school field trip i pooped in my pants because they wouldn’t let me go to the bathroom. When the bus ride home was stank everyone figured somebody stepped in shit, not that i was sitting on it.
*I used to watch my mom do operations on dogs and she said i tried operating them myself several times good thing i was caught before hand.
*I ate the plants that grew on the rooftops garden because i saw the chickens eat them and they tasted good.

Xoxo Julieth