Almost no inspiration.

That is the count down to a count down, which holds the key to what could be the longest blog ill ever write but then again who know besides it’s 281 days away sigh*
Allowing the mind to be free and unoccupied is the worst thing for me, i should use my free time to study for the asvab or something; but yet there i was haphazardly thinking and blaming myself for things that are not within my jurisdiction to change. Lets move onto a blog now shall we...

I calculated my debt and how much i owe my family for my car and its a big whooping $9681.12 at this rate it will take me forever to pay them back! grr If this is what being in debt with my family, who isn’t asking me to pay them back yet or demanding payments feels like, i don’t want to know what real debt feels like! As a matter of fact as soon as i pay them back ill start saving up for a house, i know i’m only 18 (19 in 11 days -_-) but i rather be prepared for the future whenever that decides to happen.

I need to talk about my easter because it was something different no doubt, i spent it with my “Ghetto” friends. At first i was skeptical to go over my ex coworkers house i didn’t wanna feel awkward, but then i said screw it i rather not stay home doing absolutely nothing. So i went and i was the only white person, go figure but i get along with black people really well so that wasn’t a problem. Thank goodness for my cooking class and my all black table who taught me how to get along with my hood friends. I had some delicious jamaican food and saw soooooo many ghetto dances its not even funny, i was in awe, my mouth literally was wide open at the sight. I was a little bit jealous because i wished i could move like that, yeah it was pretty hilarious; Until they decided they were going to teach me, right there in front of everybody and they pulled me into the “dance floor” (I forgot how to dance, I’ve forgotten for a long time and it takes me a copious amount of time to be comfortable enough to let my childhood skills kick in) They were holding my waist and trying to move me, so i thought to myself what the hell! i wont feel accomplished unless i dance and so i did and they went crazy! just look at my coworkers face (the one in red, Heyyyyy i didn’t know white girl had it in her! Then there was the stripper pole, That was my first time on one of those ever! i was cracking up, boy do strippers make that stuff look easy! i was struggling to stay up as you can see from the looks of my face.
Then there was the video and my attempt at recreating something i saw at the strip club. Let me just say the next day my arms were extremely sore, as if i had done 100 pushups or something; What a good workout, no wonder strippers have such amazing bodies, no future in the industry for me LOL and im okay with that i wanna be a G.I Jane type of girl anyway, strong and independent. YEAH! 



I am so glad i didn’t stay home that night i had an awesome time with my friends, for some reason it made me think about the military and how whenever i decide to join i will be leaving everything behind for a little while; scary thought but i want it more than anything i’ve ever wanted other than wanting to be an actress but this is more realistic.
I wrote a lot more after this but i accidentally pasted something on top of it and it got deleted, so ill take that as a sign. I’ll rewrite it and post it tomorrow or eventually.


Xoxo Julieth

Today, tomorrow and the day after.

Those are my days off, I just started working at Best Buy so the working hours are crazy and almost non existent. I forgot how boring being at home doing nothing can be, it definitely gives me time to think about all the stupid stuff i’m unhappy with and how i should be doing something more meaningful; yet its up to me to use my time productively and i don’t. Agh what am i going to do with myself!? I complained before because i was too overwhelmed with work and now i’m complaining because i’m not working enough, seriously will i ever reach a happy medium? I know its all psychological though, knowing i owe my family almost $10,000 its so frustrating! even though nobody is bugging me about paying them back, i feel like i need to do it now now now, its part of my impatient over achieving nature. I’m so blah i don’t even know what to write about. Some of these feelings are triggered by my uncertainty as to whether i made the right choice by quitting the grocery store job, my mom came home today and told me that everyone at the store say hi and blah blah blah. I just wanna start crying. Why do i feel like i HAVE to help people, like if i let someone down or leave them at a time i feel they might need me, i’m the most horrible person ever. I feel like i NEED to stay at the grocery store because the store director was so nice about everything and asked me to consider staying, i haven’t called or anything so that might have something to do with all the guilt and sadness i’m feeling at this point. I really need to be more selfish, the reality of the matter is not everyone thinks or feels the same way i do. Fuck being a girl and having my period thats another thing that could be messing with my head right now, i’m going to let the tears flow and hope i don’t regret any of the decisions i’ve made.
On a better note yesterday i went to this event at the Eden Roc resort in Miami beach, sponsored by the new Blackberry playbook coming to a store near you tomorrow! It’s a very cool device actually i got to play with it and experience some of its features, unfortunately it costs about as much as a laptop and for someone who makes the amount of money i make, it wouldn’t be a smart investment.
As i was driving home it was dark and i quickly glanced at the scenery from the bridge i was driving through, miami looks beautiful at night; All the buildings lit up over looking the waterfront made me feel like i was passing through a movie scene, in which there was no characters. Oh how i wished i had a significant other to share the lovely view with and relax by the waterfront sigh* one day, one day hopefully that will be the case.
 I cant believe its almost my birthday again, i’m going to be 19 in 27 days! Seems like just yesterday i was anxiously waiting to turn 18 get my license and all the freedom that comes with it. That is all just a small blog letting out my latest frustrations and expectations.

Xoxo Julieth

Too many things.

A lot of things have been happening lately, I’ve been too overwhelmed to write but heres my shot.
Lets address the topic of my resignation. a week ago on thursday best buy called me and let me know i had passed my drug and background check (No surprise there obviously) i just didn’t think everything would happen so quickly. I freaked out and immediately drove to the grocery store where i work at and asked the front end manager if we could talk, she asked me if i could come in and help out with the go back carts, then said we would talk when i came back.
I made it back within 30 minutes and she said lets go talk, aghh i was like damn i didn’t even have time to prepare myself psychologically for what i was about to do. Not going to lie the reason why i didn’t notify her sooner was because i didn’t wanna not work, i know bills are going to be crazy now that i have a car and i wasn’t going to risk going crazy at the end of the month or whenever these bills are due.
So i told her i got a new job and she said well don’t you already have a job? and i was like yes this is my 3rd one and she said well how are you going to fit that into this schedule? you wont be able to do that, i trained you for CSO and blah blah. I told her i would let her know on saturday; sunday she called me and asked me if i was coming into work on monday and i said yes i would finish the days i was scheduled for this week.
Monday after staying 30 mins past my shift because there wasn’t another cashier. I called her (front end manager) and asked her if i needed to write a resignation letter and she said no, i was going to be terminated and be put as “abandoned the job” because i didn’t give a week notice and i said well if i work until thursday its technically a week, she said it didn’t matter and i told her I cant have this stuff on my record, i’m trying to join the military! and she said talk to the store Co director (the guy who told me they didn’t need me and that in order to quit all i had to do was write i quit on the piece of paper) great at this point with a broken voice and tears in my eyes i said ok! and walked really quick out the store and to my car, another manager came and knocked on my window and said everything would be okay, that they could terminate me on good or bad terms. I went home and the first thing i did was chat with a recruiter on the air force website and ask him if a termination would affect my chances of joining and to my relief he said no.
I was outraged at what had happened to me after all the sacrifice and devotion to this job (my first job) so i decided i wasn’t going to come in on wednesday as scheduled because they screwed me over and i was going to do the same thing to them.
That night a coworker called me after seeing my status on facebook "I’ve never felt so hurt or betrayed in my life! Nice people get taken advantage of and fucked over. In the end your just a number and numbers are easily replaced. I cant believe i devoted so much to a treacherous company and an egomaniacal manager, but it’s alright because what goes around comes back around.” She asked me what was wrong and i told her, keep in mind the majority of the workers at the store are african americans (There is probably 10 white people who work there, one of them is the big boss the Store director) I get along with everybody despite their race, its irrelevant to me. Anyway my coworker is obviously black and she said honestly your white talk to the store director he’ll understand you, we went over things that were done to me by the other managers and how unfairly i had been treated and i jotted them down (When i get emotional i tend to leave out details and i refused to keep these things in any longer) The next day at 7 am i was calling the store and asking the Director when i could come in to speak to him, he said anytime; I was on my way faster than he could say Bye.
I started off the conversation asking him if he was aware of my resignation and he said he had no idea (big deal considering he’s the guy who runs the whole store) so i proceeded to tell him reasons why i was resigning.
*one of the managers told me they didn’t need me.
*another one was gunning for me and saying i was dumb or stupid.
*the other one was determined to make this go as if it was a termination dammit!
The whole time i’m going into detail about these things my voice is practically broken, i’m finding it hard to articulate the words because of the anger and hurt i was feeling. He took notes and said he would take care of it, he also asked me if i was going to stay? I said no because i’m sure i would get treated differently, i didn’t want these 3 angry managers making my life miserable!
Fair enough wednesday came around and i went to work, managers didn’t say anything. The front end manager actually asked me to come in early, i said yes! money is money and anything extra helps. At one point the front end manager said she was no longer working at the store, i was shocked and i felt guilty like i had something to do with it (i know she has a family to take care of!) i was relieved to find out she just got sent to another store. As i was clocking out for lunch the Store director called me into the office and let me know she was out of the store and asked me to consider staying, call him back in 2 days to see if i’ve made my choice; he said he didn’t know who the new front end manager would be but they would try to work with my hours. If they are willing to work with my hours i will go back, simply because i owe my family almost 10,000 for my car and id like to get that paid off as soon as possible.
Best buy is awesome, i’ve been doing Learning things on the computer and such. The 3 girls i got hired with a pretty amazing, its like we are a little family 3 musketeers. I still haven’t fully opened up, i’m really horrible at making new friends and i’m not used to the attention i guess you can say. They asked me to go clubbing with them tomorrow or technically today, but i’m not the clubbing kind of person... Heck i don’t even know how to dance! but i told them id see.


Xoxo Julieth

lacking ideas in the title department.

"Boss #3 is such a Dbag! Kevin sent via sms.” The “boss” from my princess job can be a real asshole and today he decided to let it shine for a bit, idk wtf was wrong with him. I was on my phone before the puppet show, which we were and hour early for and there was 30 mins until show time; This asshole tells me you know you gotta stop that put it away. In my head all i could think of was excuse me? I NEVER TEXT ON THE DAMN JOB sorry i don’t give a shit about the stories you have to tell me because by now i’ve figured your full of crap and all you do is talk about events that are going to happen, yet they never do! You would think that because i have my eyes glued on the phone the whole car ride, that he’d get the hint that i am not interested in what he has to say... Besides it doesn’t help the fact that he treated my mom like shit the last time she had to work with him, my mom is so humble nobody messes with her! I am scary good at holding grudges, i NEVER forget.
So my friend invited me to a chinese buffet, her moms treat. I decided to be bold and try well just about everything that looked foreign except for that cold uncooked stuff i wasn’t willing to risk food poisoning.
Here’s how the caviar taste went...

I would give anything to go back and have video tapped the part where we tried sushi, it was truly a priceless moment; Lets just say sushi isn’t my thing no matter how hard i try to make it seem tasty. Maybe i just wanted to like sushi because of Mike, Oh well!
Lesson #2 Chinese buffets are Ridiculously overpriced! $15.85+tax per person WTF? you can feed a whole family for that price, but in comparison to other restaurants its relatively cheap. Then again food is food no matter where its bought and i could care less whether it was cooked in the kitchen at TATU or Pollo Tropical, The chefs are people no matter where they work at; Materialism is so over rated. What type of girl am i :o I really despise purses, they are so annoying to carry around. All i need is my phone with me, i wish i didn’t have to carry keys around LOL.
I watched this movie just now and i cant believe i already forgot the name, it must be because i’m turning 19 in like a month, OMG a month. Time sure is flying and you know what? Im sure not complaining, it just means i’m that much closer to what i want to be closer to sigh*
I found some old videos on my phone and i thought id upload them just because i’m deleting them off my phone and maybe id want to see them again some day.

This one is from the time i actually got to sit inside the strip club for like 2 hours, you can’t really see anything because your obviously not supposed to video tape in there. Afterwards the bouncer came and made us delete the videos, i turned my phone off instead claiming i never took a video...









I gotta work 11 to 6 tomorrow, Good night.

Xoxo Julieth.

yesterday and today?

Work was so upsetting! Kerry and Daniella ruined my day my internet is down on my phone and at home so ill edit this when it comes back on this is a txt fyi
^ Yeah yesterday was pretty upsetting. This lady had a Walgreens coupon and the other manager told me a while ago that we accepted the competitions coupons but apparently we don’t... So i called a manager and she gave me and the costumer attitude. The costumer asked for a store director so she could say how unhelpful the manager was and after the costumer left both managers ganged up on me and said it was my fault pretty much. Thank god for this one girl who stood up for me... The grocery manager is such a bitch! she talks behind everybody’s back i’m so sick of her.


Anyway that was yesterday, well technically 2 days ago since its currently 12:16 am.
Today i woke up around 10, i couldn’t sleep because i was so anxious about the job interview.
Got all dressed and dolled up and off to Bestbuy.
When i got there i tried to go pick up my sisters laptop, then told the guy i was being interviewed today, he told me he’d hold onto it.
Stood by the door for what seemed like forever, when the GM finally came a girl came out of nowhere and she got interviewed first, i guess she was there since before me (oh well) I was happy outside making new friends already.
There was this one black boy and this white dude and they were both talking to me, the black boy was asking me all type of questions, like where was i from and all that good stuff. The white guy just listened, he was quiet. He did ask me how old i was though. Then when the black guy left, he was about to give me pointers on the interviewing process or i don’t even remember; The GM cut him off though and i had to kinda walk away i felt bad but i had a job to get.
The GM was really cool it didn’t really feel like an interview, there was 2 guys doing stock and they were joking around; It made me feel at ease. After a couple of questions he told me to wait outside for a few mins. I came back inside and he offered me the job :D He said i’d have to get drug tested by tuesday and that orientation would go on from that point forward.
I came out with the biggest smile on my face hence why i put walking on sunshine bellow, because to me its such a happy song. (no i’m not in love with anyone, nor is anybody in love with me.)
Anyway i apologized to the guy for cutting him off and he said he understood the situation. Picked up the laptop and the guy from Geek squad said Bestbuy Mobile attendant “Good luck” he wouldn’t tell me why though.. he said it would ruin the fun.
After that i rushed home and went to work 2 to 11:20 man i was ready to go! The day was a drag as usual but i did have a blast from about 9:15 to 10. My bagger and I decided we would meow at each other and that he would meow only.
This family asked if he spoke english because he was meowing LOL i said no but i was cracking up, he of course got a bit upset and told them to address him about him, not me and yes he does speak english.
Then we had a canadian couple and they were in shock, literally their faces were hilarious not only that but then another coworker randomly walks by making chicken noises and flopping his “wings” aka arms. I turned bright red and laughed for a good while, it made my night.
Then there was danielle again knowing how to ruin it, rushing me and stuff. Im glad she didn’t make me go outside to fix shopping carts, cause i would have been as upset as the other cashier.
I think the sleep deprivation is making me feel a bit overwhelmed, i feel like i have so many things to worry about.
Work 11:30 to 12:30 then work 1-8.
I think its that drug test deadline putting unnecessary stress on me, i have to get it out of the way monday morning so i can enjoy the rest of my day off and my tuesday.
Dentist on monday at 4 aghhh...
Still waiting on when my car will be here...



Xoxo Julieth

Believe in me.

The title has nothing to do with the blog, i just discovered the song today and i like some of the lyrics thats all.
Today was my day off, so i laid in bed all day doing contest entries for this radio station. I really wanna win these tickets.
My grandma came home from Colombia after like 5 months, she brought me piercings yay :D i could finally change my nose ring,belly and my cartilage piercing.
We went out to eat at this Chinese restaurant it was yummy :D
Then we called the Ford dealer and it closed at 8 how lame! so we went to hyundai and the douche bag really lived up to the fucked up car dealer, he tried to sell me anything but the car i wanted.. um sorry i’ve been working my ass off for a long time, i will not settle for anything less than i deserve, besides that i’m paying cash not credit.
So tomorrow before work ill go see the Ford fiesta and hopefully everything works out.
Also i just wanna personally thank you Caitlin, i know your probably the only person reading my blog and i appreciate that but thats not the reason i’m saying thank you. its actually a thank you for telling me to call the guy from best buy and encouraging me not to be afraid of being annoying, the guy called me back this morning and my 3rd interview is this friday, i’m looking forward to giving it my all.
Oh yeah i also talked to my guy friend today and we’ll probably meet for dinner on monday or tuesday, on the phone i told him that the way he said things made me mad yet i understood it was just him being concerned for me and that seemed to work just fine. I cant believe i put off this for so long, it was so simple but we’ll see what happens on monday; i’m not taking his friendship for granted.
The dude from police explorers called me last night, i think he has a crush on me or something but i’m not interested. He asked me why i didn’t show up to the meeting and i told him that i wasn’t taking my nose ring out for something thats voluntary, he said he was going to talk to the Cop and see if they can let that slide i guess. I’m not sure if i wanna go back, one of the main reasons i joined was doing PT there and being pushed. well they aren’t really doing PT and i need to focus on studying for whats really important the ASVAB not the dispatch codes, for all i know if i do become a cop it probably wont be in my city.
I still have no idea as to what job i wanna set my hopes on for the airforce but before i can think of possibilities i have to get myself together with this studying aghhh.



Xoxo Julieth

A melting pot of feelings.

I don’t know why i’ve been so emotionally unstable lately, i can go from being happy to being all sad and shit. It’s not like i’m bipolar or anything just the things around me have been easily getting to me.
I don’t even know where to start, every time i’m going to write i go blank! it’s quite upsetting if you ask me.
Me and my Bestfriend are doing amazing, we are trying to make an effort to talk to each other daily. I miss her, I miss talking to her and I miss how she knows me well enough to understand what i’m feeling without me having to speak. I know girls are a lot to deal with and they are full of shit but i have been lucky enough to find 2 girls who i consider worthy of my trust.
My bestfriends name is Giselle we have known each other for almost 7 years and have been bestfriends for about 6 and a half and i say this because at one point she didn’t like me (I gave her a pepper lolipop, it was from my mexican friend... Apparently it tasted really bad and well it wasn’t the best first impression) Anyway at one point we became inseparable and we’ve been that way since, we don’t talk on the phone as much as we used to in middle school but thats understandable, because we both have responsibilities now as adults. If she ever reads this she will kill me for quoting her on this “If i ever do that i might puke on your dick” <- i literally laughed out loud at this because she’s a virgin as well so we don’t have any experience on those things.
It’s official remember my other friend who got her car a couple of weeks ago? Well she finally said i’m her bestfriend which i’ve known for a while because we told each other everything, gave advice and most importantly we’ve been there for each other when either one is down; I guess thats what real friendship is about being there when your needed the most.
Today was my moms birthday so my siblings and i went to the store where i work at and bought her a card, some flowers and a cake. We turned off all the lights and light the candles, we surprised her. Geez my mom is getting so old :o 44 already time just fly’s by. I wish i could be rich so she could just stop working and devote her time to doing what she loves.
I was supposed to go look at cars today but the weather was crappy, it rained a looot. I took a wonderful nap though, i love sleeping in the rain!
Tomorrow is payday yes! i still haven’t been to the orthodontist this month :# i need to make my appointment -$105 money money money. Bills are crazy it seems like just yesterday i paid my orthodontist, car insurance (for my invisible car) and phone bill. now a new month is just around the corner and well its time to pay up again. I hate bills and i know they are only going to get much worse as i get older, no wonder adults get gray hairs and wrinkles.
I had an interview at best buy saturday, the guy said i seemed to be really good with costumer service and that he would recommend me to the GM, he also said he would call me that day to schedule the 3rd interview but he didn’t call? i don’t know if that means i didn’t get the job or something? I’m scared, i really want the job but i don’t wanna call and bother them. Ill call the guy on saturday and remind him he was supposed to call me, just in case he forgot.
I finally talked to mike yesterday after about a month, funny thing though; the night before he texted me i had deleted all his text messages and stuff because well he didn’t talk to me for a month, so i figured he was sick of me or something.
He thought it was me displaying lack of interest at first, but i had to reming him that it was him who had to tell me when it was convenient for me to fly out and see him. Sometimes i wonder if i’m making too much of an effort isn’t the guy supposed to be the one willing to do anything for the girl? Eh i don’t mind, i understand he’s in the military and he doesn’t really have control over what he does.
Oh yeah and guess what he’s getting deployed soon :x in may or maybe sooner, lovely! that is sarcasm by the way. It sucks to think i might never get so see him.



Xoxo Julieth.