I'm a lightweight better be careful what you say with every word i’m blown away, your in control of my heart.

I wish i could think of what i wanna write and it will just write itself that way i don’t forget things *sigh here we go.

I should start by expressing how much i HATE guys like what makes it okay for them not to feel absolutely anything when playing with someones feelings?

I was really looking forward to meeting this guy i met on okcupid. He messaged me first we texted for like a week, established we were both not some 40 year old rapist, he put smileys on almost every text AND he texted me the day before asking if we were still on for friday (which i said we were). 

Friday rolls around its 830 pm and no text, so i text him and he says he’s tipsy (well isn’t that lovely, its not like i’ve waited around all day) oh meet me here, knowing guys lame ass excuse potential, i ask if he has battery so i avoid the "oh my phone died i am so so sorry” 15% (uh how about no, its a 30 min drive) then he’s like "oh just meet me tomorrow when i’m sober”  are you sure you wont do the same as today ? -_- i’m sorry! (yeah its okay, because i really wanna meet you and theres nothing else i can say)

Saturday, fucking depressing i was on the couch all day glued to my phone (yes i know how pathetic of me) never got a text, so at like 12 am its official i have been ditched or whatever this is supposed to be, so delete all the texts and his number (just another picture to burn, but fuck you hurt my feelings :'[ )

Seriously though if i was him id feel so shitty (its like a mini mild heartbreak) but i bet he doesn’t give a damn (seems about right considering he’s a guy)

Needless to say i’m never going to find a guy who i like and he likes me, because i’m just so damn picky and love cursed.

On the other hand my coworker is so set on hooking me up with her husbands brother (aw man he’s not my type, how do i get out of this?! She’s dragging me to laser quest next sunday because i have to go on a “DATE” not looking forward to this.)

A while back i think i blogged about the white guy who talked to me when i was being interviewed to work at bestbuy, he’s back at the store (i don’t know where he went for like 4 months lol)

I think he was interested in me, he texted me a lot and wanted to talk on the phone (geez i cant remember the last time a guy wanted to spend hours on the phone) we talked on the phone for like 2 hours one night and then somewhere in the convo i thought it would be funny to, you know mind fuck him like he did when he told me his mom was south african. So i told him i had a 3 month old baby named Laquan, who’s father is Pierre Louis a haitian/ african, who’s father passed away and we named our baby after; oh and because the story wouldn’t be complete without having the baby daddy on child support. (yeah he didn’t text me again) i need to remember to tell him this was all a lie before it happens to spread around the store, not that it would make any sense because i’m a stick and my body hasn’t changed since i started working there but just a precaution.

Oh and i forgot to mention on sunday i got the loveliest pimple in between my eyes (you know a 3rd eye) sunday,monday, tuesday i touched it and made it worse. Tuesday i put on this purple medicine my mom used to put on cows and horses in Colombia to help their wounds heal faster. Wednesday i had a scab and realized the crap does NOT wash off and my scab was permanently dyed purple (damn and i “had" plans for friday)
Friday i got called into work and refused to show up at work with my third eye, so i painfully ripped it off, the scab that is. I now have a huge circle scar FML but at least i didn’t have a third eye on friday and that was all that mattered then. I wish i had rocked the third eye now, but its too late boo. oh well i guess hopefully the scar will go away quickly.
I don’t know how to flip the picture so enjoy the upside down picture (red lip gloss looks terrible on me)

I just came home from Chillis dinner on my manager (hell yeah) with all my coworkers, Damn today was the day for compliments (well sorta) my coworkers seem to be fond of me, i guess i can be funny from time to time and well ya know i keep it real.
Really though i wish i was more social, i think guys intimidate me more than i think (if that makes sense) i am such a quiet person borderline antisocial(i don’t hate people or anything maybe i’m just shy). I really don’t know what to do about that i guess i’m just an introvert. 

Xoxo Julieth

Google me, Gavin Degraw, his guitarist, blog, blog, blog.

 I don’t know whether i should be afraid or flattered. Afraid that someone looked my blog up by “julistar15” and could potentially know a lot about me, mostly feelings and experiences. Flattered that someone would take the time to do so o_o 

                                      Today i met Gavin Degraw courtesy of wrmf 97.9 the best variety of the 80, 90’s and today!
Not gonna lie this radio station is pretty awesome the only problem is it sounds terrible down here :/ 
When i went to the underground for Y100 which is kinda like a meet and greet, we got to be in the same room as the artist. 
97.9 does it differently i was pretty bummed about having to watch him like he was a fish in a bowl when he was performing, but this was all made up once we actually did the meet and greet. It was so personal, they gave us pictures and his new CD all signed. The picture he signed personally, like to Julieth blah blah i felt kinda special. He has an amazing voice talented dude and his guitarist was lovely as well. Needless to say the 1 hour drive was very worth it.
On other news i feel like crap! not only do i work myself out yesterday until muscle failure, but oh you know my immune system decides its cool to allow a cold in the same day. So now every time i sneeze or cough my abs are in pain weeeee! 
I should probably go to bed at a normal time today, give this body as much rest as it needs boo, ill probably wake up at 3 if i go to bed now. it’ll be like the nap i DONT want.
okay im done.

Xoxo Julieth

so much for those planets...

As usual i jinxed myself lovely! No more cute guys blowing up my phone :( boo!
I don’t usually text guys first so im kinda screwed there, i guess ill just have to find myself another way of staying busy; as if trying to win this stupid (awesome!) contest didn’t take enough of my time...
Im up late once again, no surprise there really. Since hour cuts are a bitch, I’m off till sunday i need to make my $$$ dammit. Iphone 5 or 4S come out already so the store can be jam packed please and thank you!
I don’t even have anything to say really just felt like writing.
I never actually talked about how crappy i thought NY was holy shit i LOVE florida. It’s kinda calm/ fast paced here but nothing compared to NY. I hated not having my lovely car to drive in and depending on people giving me permission to go places, yeah i think that was the shittiest part. My friends mom assumed the controlling mom role (which i never had or was used to because my mom is so chill and awesome) I had my little taste of hell, i named it basic training because i was sleep, food, and music deprived with one hell of a drill instructor, if it wasn’t for plane tickets being 200 i would have left the 2nd day i got there. Did i mention i booked the wrong flight back home? yeah i had to stay an extra day, luckily my friends aunt took me and allowed me to stay with her... here are some pictures of the 2 days that didn’t suck out of 14 days -_-

My friends party was lovely (that was the whole reason why i went to NY with her) Her mom went crazy with the spending though like 12 grand on a party filled with guests my friend barely knew there to “celebrate her birthday, more like i’m here to eat your food and drink your booze suckaaaa. I tried a jello shot blechhhh, disgusting i found something that tastes worse than beer, i spit it out and drank some coke whew never again.
I think i saw some famous dude on the streets he was wearing glasses and i didn’t know his name but i had seen him in some movie, i would have gone and chased after him just for the heck of it but he was across the street and the light changed.
The guys around where i stayed were spanish GHETTO! theres nothing more un attractive than a guy with his pants hanging down or a guy who stares you up and down like your some piece of meat. If i wasn’t so polite i would have stuck up my middle finger at all those pigs who looked at me that way but i’m a lady... OH did i mention some bird decided to shit on me when i was leaving the subway at night? i didn’t get no luck from it, whoever made that up lied!
Some weeks ago i went swimming with the dolphins finally! sheshh i been waiting since i was like 11 to do this and i’m 19 now so go figure... MIAMI SEAQUARIUM what a disappointment, i was on this dolphins back for like oh idk 5 seconds and that was it! 200 dollars for that ? luckily my mom got it for 130 but really? the rest of the time was spent feeding the dolphin or shall i say watching the animal trainer feed it. About ridding on the dolphins back though, it felt so weird it was hitting my stomach as it swam you can tell by my face i was laughing too hard. Then it gave me a kiss awww put it on a magazine! Walked around the tiny park and by 1:30 i was done ready to go home, i didn’t want a tan.



Lastly because i am so ghetto fab i can attempt to dance to ghetto songs, solely for the purpose of providing a good laugh because i wouldn’t be caught dead dancing at a party or the club.

Xoxo Julieth

Damn planets all aligned or what?

My sign has got it going on right now, whatever planets represent guys in my atmosphere must have magically lined up or maybe its my new default?

 

Ha i wish my boobs were actually that big unfortunately for whoever its unfortunate for. You cant really have big boobs, flat abs and a big butt; unless your black that is or made of plastic. Darn it, the times when i wish i was as black as i can act. Those dreadful minutes on the treadmill are paying off or at least i’d like to think so, for the sake of staying motivated.
Anyway, who should i start with?

Oh yeah the ass hole who took my virginity and didn’t say goodbye lets give him the privilege of being first. 

Months after he left to Europe without saying goodbye he adds me on Facebook i couldn’t believe my eyes when i saw his friend request. I accepted it and i figured he would message me, part of me hoped he did and he did here is the conversation as of now:

• 

  Thursday

  
  

  • vato, i brought my lame fb account back. whats poppin in hllywood
• 

  Thursday

  
  

  • I see. The usual though work and
• 

  Thursday

  
  

  • Work, my dpt got madd hour cuts I get like 1 to 2 days a week now a days its pretty ridiculous.
    Hows it going over there?
• 

  Thursday

  
  

  • so so... i dont know.. might be leaving soon if it doesnt pick up...
• 

  Thursday

  
  

  • Damn its slow over there too!?
    is there a time difference or you just happened to be up at 6 am lol
• 

  Thursday

  
  

  • yea.. im 6 hours ahead.... duhh ha
• 

  Thursday

  
  

  • Damn vato dont gotta get all duhhh on me before I cyber whoop you ahh.
• 

  Thursday

  
  

  • ha. ima about 5000 miles east of florida tho vatooooo. i had to duh you a lil
• 

  Thursday

  
  

  • It’s all good ill just save them for one day and give them all to you at once; you have a lot of whooping lined up. I’ll get you once you make you “duh” worthy comment, its all good!
• 

  20 hours ago

  
  

  • ha. your weak ass vato. i hope youve been training.
• 

  17 hours ago

  
  

  • Unfortunately for you I have been working out, so im ready to whoop whop you. Most importantly though have You been training?
• 

  10 hours ago

  
  

  • oo yea. ima come back BIGGG
• 

  9 hours ago

  
  

  • big as in you had too much european food ? lol
    don’t matter cause either way im gonna be swoller than you.

Oh so good at pretending to be okay with his casual conversation. I wanna tell him off i really do but more than that, i wanna see his face when i ask why and that is the reason why i haven’t mentioned anything! On the bright side i now have a picture of him so when i’m having the talk with my kids (if i ever have kids) ill be able to show them who it was... creepy? eh i don’t care! 
Then theres the kid i used to have a HUGE crush on when i was in 10th grade but he had a gf now he’s single oh lala, but he’s kinda ghettoish boo! Id love to see him again for old times sake, its been like 4 years since i last saw him.
This cop i met a year ago messaged me talking about "call me” talk about awkward. I don’t know how to call a person, i much rather text. So after avoiding his message all day, i decided id reply with my phone number he can call ME, don’t be telling me what to do fool!
Don’t even get me started on my manager asking if i ever had a boyfriend, saying that i look like id have high standards. He caught me off guard, really off guard. It’s silly but i’ve been worrying about what that meant since then and until i find out why i look like i have high standards its going to eat at me. Its cool though because ill make sure i catch him off guard when i ask why? hope he feels just as shocked as i did.
OH MY GOD the cop just texted me kill me right now! or not i wanna see what he has to say.
i wonder how long i should wait to text back... maybe till i’m done writing this lovely blog. 
Damn its almost 3 am i am the biggest bum ever! what day is it today? 
Any guy who texts at this time is a booty call, not that i would know but movies are pretty educational right?
Shout out to my new follower Mike haha made my night!


Xoxo Julieth

The best thing i never had

I usually put the song that describes my mood at the end of my blog but this song is what inspired me to write... sorta at least.
I love music! it makes me feel like i’m not alone in this, like someone out there is or has felt what i’m feeling.
Lets see. Today i drove by Mikes house and his truck wasn’t there anymore it makes it more real to me, he is actually gone and he didn’t say goodbye. Oddly enough this song came on as i was passing by... id say i’m holding up pretty well, i haven’t shed a tear since my last blog where i was bawling, so over a week id say.
I can still remember his face very vividly but its slowly fading away, the one time when i wish i could forget easily.
Im so curious as to why he left without saying goodbye? i hope i can catch him on Skype eventually and have the chance to ask.
ill be heading to Ny in a week, i’m excited maybe this trip will take my mind off things.

and although theres pain in my chest, i still wish you the best with a... fuck you!

I’ve had the busiest week ever so i haven’t had time to think about Mike...

Monday through today i had induction for BestBuy mobile, i don’t even know where to start... It was amazing! i’ve never had the opportunity to meet people from other states and network. Let me tell you its amazing how you can form bonds in a week hopefully these bonds stay together as time goes by.
I met a guy who was discharged from the airforce (SC) Gave me advice on Mike accidentally.
A hair stylist (TN) Tough girl, i admired her strength.
An blasian "black and asian baby lol”(OH) So pretty and smart.
Saved the best for last a black army guy who’s bicurious(SC) This guy was an admirable character in my opinion; he attempted to teach me how to dance and i was blown away by his confidence in being himself.
Then i realized people from up north are so nice! and part of growing into an adult is hanging out with people in my age group and relating to their experiences.
The best part is i now have places to crash at when i wanna go visit other states so that rules! <= i cant believe i just typed that...
Goodbye is bitter sweet.
I think along with my new friends Mike was supposed to leave today. Contrary to what he said he never texted me or set up a day to say goodbye, so off with the wind he goes like nothing ever happened between us, it was just a lesson learned and something to be cautious about in the future.
When i asked the guy from the airforce what it meant if the guy was leaving and he said “He’s going to try to F*** you and then leave like nothing ever happened” mind you he had no idea what or who i was talking about, thats when the reality set in. He also told me it would make no sense to tell him what i feel because either way he’s going to leave, this isn’t a nicholas sparks book (unfortunately) a lot of guys are stupid that is all... No more tears, power to the female strength.
And who ever is out there googling my user name on okcupid, thank you lol

In tears...

In tears because the day I have to say goodbye to you is getting closer.
In tears because im scared to tell you how I feel.
In tears because im almost 100% positive you dont feel the same.
In tears because I put my hopes up and pictured the future instead of living in the present.
In tears because I wish you cared.
In tears because I let my pride get the best of me.
In tears because im probably the coolest girlfriend candidate but you'll never know.
In tears because im a girl who feels very strongly.
In tears because I am alone in this fight with myself.
In tears because this is the 2nd night im crying myself to sleep and that is not okay.
In tears because I let myself go so easily.
Lastly im in tears because I think I lost who I've been and im not sure how to find myself again. </3